Friday, April 29, 2005

Free Falling Suicide

I often wondered what it would be like to commit suicide without really dying. Of all the methods I've fantasized about the one thing that really astounded me was jumping off a tall building. I can't blame those people who died this way for choosing such a demise. It must've been the most soul-freeing act they could have possibly experienced.

How would I know? I'm here, writing this - alive! But last night I dreamt of it. I stood atop a high rise building where the clouds partially obscured my view of the surface. I felt so sad, so lonely, so depressed and so lost. I couldn't understand why I felt that way in that dream. It was as if life has lost its meaning - a feeling of overwhelming emptiness. I could see the world above and below. People were all around and yet deep inside my heart I felt alienated. The world was a dark and cold world without a sense of purpose and a sense of belongingness. I thought of the people I cared about but for some reason I didn't care. Doubt was taking over my thoughts of them. How would I really know if they cared or they loved me back? Maybe all of this was just a façade. I could not take this feeling anymore so took a deep breath, closed my eyes and I lept.

The constant acceleration of the fall inexplicably left me with a feeling of delight. It was like an orgasmic feeling that held itself while still at the peak. It doesn't stop there. It just keeps feeling better and better as I fall faster. My mind was clear and everything in life that I've been through, whether good or bad, didn't really matter anymore. It was like an uncontrolled male libido that you just can't say 'no'. I was now letting go of everything and letting the floating feeling embrace my soul. How I'd wish this feeling lasted forever.

At that brief moment before impact I woke up and my heart was pounding like I've just been through a wild ride. I understand now why those lost souls chose this as their demise. They were free from the world, free from the pain and free from themselves. It's because for the last few minutes of their pathetic lives they were free.


Note: Kids don't try this at home. :P

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

10 Types of Relationships that won't work

1. You care about your partner more than he does about you.
2. Your partner cares more about you than you do about him.
3. You are in love with your partner's potential.
4. You are on a rescue mission.
5. You look up to your partner as a role model.
6. You are infatuated with your partner for external reasons.
7. You have partial compatibility.
8. You choose a partner in order to be rebellious.
9. You choose a partner as a reaction to your previous partner.
10. Your partner is unavailable.

6 BIGGEST mistakes we make in the beginning of a relationship:
1. We don't ask enough questions.
2. We ignore warning signs of potential problems.
3. We make premature compromises.
4. We give in to Lust Blindness.
5. We give in to material seduction.
6. We put Commitment Before Compatibility.

7 Wrong Reasons to be in a Relationship:
1. Pressure (age, family, friends, etc.)
2. Loneliness and desperation
3. Sexual hunger
4. Distraction from your own life
5. To avoid growing up
6. Guilt
7. To fill up your emotional or spiritual emptiness.

The Lust into Love Formula
1. First, you feel powerful sexual chemistry with someone or, in raw terms, lust.
2. Next, you act on those urges and have sex with that person.
3. Then you experience some guilt or discomfort having been so sexually intimate with someone you aren't that emotionally connected with.
4. Finally you create a relationship with that
person to legitimize your lust.

5 Realities about Love
1. Love is not enough to make a relationship work it needs compatibility and it needs commitment.
2. It just takes a moment to experience infatuation, but true love takes time.
3. It is possible to experience true love with more than one person there are many potential partners you could be happy with.
4. The right partner will fulfill many of your needs but not all of them.
5. Good sex has nothing to do with true love, but making love does.

5 Deadly Myths about Love
1. True love conquers all.
2. When it's really true love, you will know it the moment you meet the other person.
3. there is only one true love in the world who is right for you.
4. the perfect partner will fulfill you completely in every way.
5. when you experience powerful sexual chemistry with someone, it must be love.

Fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner:
1. Addictions.
2. Anger.
3. Victim consciousness.
4. Control freak
5. Sexual Dysfunction.
6. Hasn't grown up.
7. Emotionally unavailable.
8. Hasn't recovered from past relationships.
9. Emotional damage from childhood.

Here are 7 compatibility time bombs that can
destroy a relationship:
1. Significant age difference.
2. Different religious background.
3. Different social, ethnic, or educational background.
4. Toxic in-laws.
5. Toxic ex-spouse.
6. Toxic Stepchildren.
7. Long-distance relationships.

6 Qualities to look for in a mate:
1. Commitment to personal growth.
2. Emotional openness
3. Integrity
4. Maturity and responsibility
5. High self-esteem.
6. Positive Attitude towards life

"TRUE LOVE cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor cannot be hidden where it truly does."

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Growing Up

This is a nice story. :)

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm 87 years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends.

Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk non-stop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.

She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium.

As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. "You have to laugh and find humor every day."

"You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!"

"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change."

"Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.


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