Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Lies Men Tell

Ok. So these aren't exactly lies. Oops! Now I lied! hehehe...

They are more of the common monologues that men tell women and you just end up lying to yourself about their true intentions. Why? Because women still get blinded sweet talk! Now, guys, I know this is a generalization. I know I may be betraying my brethren here but bear with me! I'm rambling here! =P

"I thought you were I easy but I realize that you shouldn't be taken lightly. You should be taken seriously."

Ok, this is the mode switch tactic. That's like saying if you were easy I'd take you easy. If you were serious I'd take you seriously. In other words, the guy is just riding on to what you are. He's just leveling with you. When everyone gave you the advice that "guys will just say anything", they were right listen to them. Just because the guy said this doesn't mean your ego just goes soaring through the roof. Remember, for every one guy there are 10 women. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL RECEIVE THAT CRAP. So don't assume that you're the only one a guy has said this to. You can look at it this way, from your point of view you're the only girl the guy has said such words to you but I ask you: How many guys have told you that?

He's Serious with you?

Sure! Anyone can be serious if they put their mind to it. But remember, being serious in a relationship also clashes with a person's natural attitude. So if they are serious but hiding their bad side then it would hinder their ability to deliver. In other words, they're not being themselves. Getting a relationship to work does not mean a heavy serving of words with promises. It requires HARD (and I emphasize VERY HARD) work. It's not just dates and intimacies. It's about talking about compromises and planning ahead. Sponaneity can be for later. So if you want to get your relationship to work, get off your ass, shut up and get to work and show something for it!

A serious boyfriend doesn't necessarily mean a unique or interesting relationship. You could be just looking at an ordinary relationship. There has to be the chemistry between you. You know, the things about both of you that just "CLICKS". It's hard finding something like that with someone else. Anyone can start a new relationship! It can be tomorrow I can start a new relationship with someone I just met on the street! Yes, it's easy to start with someone new and you can do stuff you never did but will the new one appreciate it? Will they like the same things you liked in your past relationships? Will they appreciate the kind of person you are?

Unable to commit?

There are only two general reasons.
1. Fear of being hurt due to a past hurt.
2. Waiting for someone to come back to them.

Basically, to put it bluntly, he's just NOT THAT INTERESTED in you.

As I've read in another article, if your guy has a string of children by different women, don't even think for one second he'll treat you differently. You can deny it all you want but if you're looking at the maternity angle, he wasn't even man enough to face the responsibility what makes you think you'll be any different? Never expect to be the one to make your man change. Change is internal. No one can make that happen but them.

Also, be practical. We know love is accepting your partner's faults and attitude. But what if your boyfriend asks you to be someone else? Remember pointer #1. Also ask yourself these questions:
Am I willing to give up what I am for a guy?
What for?
Is it worth it?
Do I like being treated as a trapped creature and unable to be free to do what I want?

Sex

Sex is a girl's best expression of love to a guy. Once you give yourself to a guy your heart will never be the same again. The reason why it's hard for you to let go is because you're thinking: "I gave my body and soul to you. I expect you to give me all your love and affection in return." You're upset because you never got it. He got what he wanted but you didn't. Your mind is clouded because you still bring back the idea that your body was used. NEVER use sex as a basis for expecting something. A guy may not be after sex but he could be using it to cloud your mind. This is unquestionably true. If you give yourself to him and the guy is just fooling around, don't use it as an excuse to get what you want. Otherwise, you'll be stuck in the waiting game expecting him to change because of what you gave him. In the end, you'll just hate yourself when things don't turn out as you wanted it to be. You'll just keep waiting and waiting and before you know it you've wasted your life waiting for nothing.

So with all these things in mind, how, then, do you know if a guy is being true to you? The answer may surprise you. This applies to looking for a true girlfriend. All you need to find is a good person. Someone who you know will bring out the best in you. That's all. It's that simple! You're not looking for someone who is known to be a good partner or CLAIMS to be a good partner. You don't even have to look for a person who knows how to handle a relationship. Anyone can pretend to be that. I know women are very observant. If you can observe a guy for just an hour or so then you can tell if he is a good person or not. NEVER IGNORE warning signs of his attitude or behavior. Maintain your standards. If a man is good in handling is life by himself then he can and will be able to handle a relationship whether he knows it or not. Responsible people are not afraid to take risks. I am not that responsible and I admit that most of the time I don't take risks.

Despite the standards we set for our ideal mates, the one we fall for will always be the exception.

Lastly, here's the single and toughest part to accept. NEVER believe that the relationship will never end. Things happen. Happiness doesn't last forever - it's a fact of life! Take it as it comes and accept the fact that you must move on.

3 comments:

chubbygurl said...

oh man!!!..need i say more?? u have really laid down ur cards here..for sure..men tell lies..but hey were on the 21st century..so expect the women to do the same...

aceofspade said...

the sex part really got me.. that's how i used to think..that to express love is through making love..
pero k ra..the man i gave my self to is now my husband..he was my first and last..but sometimes i regret why i did it too soon. :(

jash_ville said...

This made me cry :(

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