Thursday, December 29, 2005

Setting standards and falling for the wrong one

People say I have high standards when choosing my ideal girl. Truth is I have standards but it's really not that high. I have standards that no one has met so that doesn't necessarily mean I'm asking too much.

Folks, it's actually pointless to set standards. Why? Coz the one we fall for will always be the exception.

But it's really imperative that you set standards for your ideal mate. Why? Because it will mean the difference between satisfaction and regret.

It's not uncommon to find ourselves forcing our hearts to love someone we could not love. It’s even more common to just look the other way and take the dive for the person you are uncertain about thinking you’ll never find the person you want. It's even harder to accept when you fall for someone you least expect only to have it end in the worst possible way you could imagine.

Why does it hurt? Why does loving the wrong person hurt more than loving the right one? It's because you tried so hard to force yourself to love someone that you never wanted. When it ends you think of the effort you've put into it and it was all for nothing. You end up blaming yourself for everything. All in all it was the regret of that action. You're right, you only have yourself to blame. I know, because I blamed myself for wasting my time on the wrong person. Bottom line is, falling in love is falling in love. It doesn't matter whether it was the right one or the wrong one. It hurts just the same because you are in love. It just feels pointless in the end when it was the wrong one.

My gentle reader, you should never lower your standards to tolerate a love interest that doesn't even meet your slightest criteria. Don't sell yourself short. I know being like this may be frustrating but the one you find in the end will be worth the wait. Even if it does end it's not the feeling of emptiness over the wrong person but the sense that you got to do everything for the person who was worth it - even for a little while.

I'm not really sure but loving the person you've wanted gives me fewer frustrations than the one you've only grown to love. Maybe it's because you've always fantasized everything with that person and you've come to realize it. Maybe it's the sense of getting what you've always wanted that gives you satisfaction. I may not have all the answers but I know this is real. Even to this very day, I still look back at that one person I've always wanted but lost. Yep, the one that got away. I have my regrets and I have my mistakes but I still treasure our brief moment together every single day. If you ask me, yes, I would very much take her back. That girl I met one night on May 2001 - the one that got away. I don't care if the rest fall off the face of the earth. I will always love her. Maybe I will find someone else who matches that girl I want or maybe I won’t. There’s someone for us out there and we cannot afford to quit and end up losing them before we find them.

Stick to finding or getting what you want. Only those who know what they want will be successful in life. The person who has the "any will do" mentality has no direction. Don't be desperate. Deal with it!

Whatever happens, I hope one day you don't end up saying: "Shit! What the hell did I see in that person?!"

Thursday, December 15, 2005

How to be happy

Here's my version:

Happines towards Others.
* Maintain a positive outlook.
* Hang around positive people. Shun negative people. Avoid troublemakers. But always be open to them because you may never know when you might learn something useful from them. Most of the meaningful advice I got were from people who are problematic.
* Don't restrict your friends to an exclusive group of people. Not everything you need will be provided by them.
* Be open-minded. The wise man adapts himself to the world while the foolish man adapts the world to himself.
* Don't save greedily but spend wisely. You'll lose more money keeping your money rather than spending it on the things you want.
* Seize opportunities - they may never come again. But be warned! There's no telling the difference between an opportunity and a temptation.
* Don't harbour hatred & revenge.
* Forgive but don't forget.
* Smile
* Respect their opinion. When you respect others' thoughts they will respect yours.
* Learn to follow your own advice. If you can't follow them then don't give any.

Happines towards Love
* Enjoy being single while you still can are. Don't get desperate or fret for being lonely. You'll miss it someday.
* Find a partner that will help you grow as a person. They either make or break you so make your choice count.
* Stick to the person you want. Only when you find that person will you really be satisfied. Never settle for second best. Only the people who know what they want will be successful later in all aspects in their life.
* Be loyal.
* Wipe all insecurities from your mind. If you don't you'll just be destroying yourself and your relationship.
* When it's time to let go don't brood over it. Move on. There's always something better for you.
* Don't give everything. Leave something for yourself.
* Don't fool around or hurt the ones you love coz everything you do will go back to you.
* Don't tolerate immaturity and foolishness in a relationship. They'll only destroy you and everything else.
* Beauty lies both inside and outside us. Anyone who ever said that true beauty lies on the inside is either half-right or just plainly thinks you're ugly.

Happines towards Yourself
* Cry. You'll live longer.
* Dance
* Sing your heart out even if your voice is terrible.
* Don't over-indluge. Too much is bad for you.
* Invest in improving yourself. If you can't take care of yourself you can't take care of others even if you do neglect yourself for others it will come out wrong.
* Take care of your body as much as you can. We only have one throughout our existence.
* Project confidence. People can easily spot someone with insecurities.
* Love yourself. Coz if you don't, no one else will.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Another uneventful day in my cubicle...

Looking around my table I cannot help but notice how much I have accumulated into my little world. Books of various topics related and unrelated to my job, plaques, certificates, memorabilias and toys.

My Samurai X figurine, Battousai the slasher guards my desk. A place formerly held by another figure of my not so distant past. Come to think of it, Battousai belonged to a person who didn't deserve it. Within the nooks of my bookshelf is an NYPD plate I bought in a convenience store outside of New York. In another corner is a broken Nvidia GeForce 4 MX440. On one shelf is my pathetic excuse for work on a 1/24 scale Mazda RX7 with Hot WHeels cars in the backdrop. Below that shelf are two Neko cats (black and white) supposedly to bring me luck.

A maze of wires tangles all the way down under my feet connecting my two computers. I've been meaning to tie them up and make them neat. My PDA's LCD glows in the darkness under my table as it charges and syncs data with one of my computers.

In the gentle solace of my own world I think of that what I have been through this year. It's funny how all the sorrow in your emotions makes you appreciate how precious and fragile our lives are. Life, indeed, is too short to squander it all on grief. But as I look at it now, without grief how can I be happy? Without happiness where is grief? I definitely agree that God made opposites to everything in order for us to appreciate both.

I look around my office and look at my colleagues laughing at each other, smiling and talking to each other. The annoying chatter of whose idea is right and what's being done in their projects are all too familiar to me. I cannot help but appreciate how far I've gone in my life. I feel somewhat honored to be working with such esteemed individuals. Wacky at most but extremely intelligent and creative. An eccentric bunch that never ceases to bring a smile to your face each day. I'm always happy being with them. It seems the only thing that's out of place in this room is me. A somewhat mediocre employee in a company that searches only for the best. Why or how I made it in here is still a mystery to me but I know that my skills do surpass far beyond what my academic records show.

Proud as I am to have known them I cannot get over the feeling that I had given them up for my own personal happiness that was never meant to last.

As I left for the day I look back from the sidewalk at the lone towering building where I work I still wonder how many more of places big and small I will see in my life. New faces and new lives I will meet along the way and lives I will rediscover. I also wonder how many conflicts I will face later. I realized that I have a path that I must follow. God has plans for me. Each day it may or may not become clear. My real job in life is not to quit. I have to keep going. The real pride I have is the fact that I'm still here. So far I'm realizing my dreams one at a time.

I understand.
I understood.
I will understand.

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