Thursday, December 29, 2005

Setting standards and falling for the wrong one

People say I have high standards when choosing my ideal girl. Truth is I have standards but it's really not that high. I have standards that no one has met so that doesn't necessarily mean I'm asking too much.

Folks, it's actually pointless to set standards. Why? Coz the one we fall for will always be the exception.

But it's really imperative that you set standards for your ideal mate. Why? Because it will mean the difference between satisfaction and regret.

It's not uncommon to find ourselves forcing our hearts to love someone we could not love. It’s even more common to just look the other way and take the dive for the person you are uncertain about thinking you’ll never find the person you want. It's even harder to accept when you fall for someone you least expect only to have it end in the worst possible way you could imagine.

Why does it hurt? Why does loving the wrong person hurt more than loving the right one? It's because you tried so hard to force yourself to love someone that you never wanted. When it ends you think of the effort you've put into it and it was all for nothing. You end up blaming yourself for everything. All in all it was the regret of that action. You're right, you only have yourself to blame. I know, because I blamed myself for wasting my time on the wrong person. Bottom line is, falling in love is falling in love. It doesn't matter whether it was the right one or the wrong one. It hurts just the same because you are in love. It just feels pointless in the end when it was the wrong one.

My gentle reader, you should never lower your standards to tolerate a love interest that doesn't even meet your slightest criteria. Don't sell yourself short. I know being like this may be frustrating but the one you find in the end will be worth the wait. Even if it does end it's not the feeling of emptiness over the wrong person but the sense that you got to do everything for the person who was worth it - even for a little while.

I'm not really sure but loving the person you've wanted gives me fewer frustrations than the one you've only grown to love. Maybe it's because you've always fantasized everything with that person and you've come to realize it. Maybe it's the sense of getting what you've always wanted that gives you satisfaction. I may not have all the answers but I know this is real. Even to this very day, I still look back at that one person I've always wanted but lost. Yep, the one that got away. I have my regrets and I have my mistakes but I still treasure our brief moment together every single day. If you ask me, yes, I would very much take her back. That girl I met one night on May 2001 - the one that got away. I don't care if the rest fall off the face of the earth. I will always love her. Maybe I will find someone else who matches that girl I want or maybe I won’t. There’s someone for us out there and we cannot afford to quit and end up losing them before we find them.

Stick to finding or getting what you want. Only those who know what they want will be successful in life. The person who has the "any will do" mentality has no direction. Don't be desperate. Deal with it!

Whatever happens, I hope one day you don't end up saying: "Shit! What the hell did I see in that person?!"

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