Saturday, July 08, 2006

What becomes of the broken-hearted

Last night I spent some time with a female friend of mine. She was somewhat distressed when I saw her the morning of that day. She told me she had a huge problem in her relationship. Knowing her, I assumed it was probably those same moments in her life again.

So there I was with her eating at a Korean restobar. (She loves Korean food) She ordered two types of pork meals. Having had dinner with my managers a few hours before I really wasn't up to the task of dining with her. It didn't matter anyway because after she started to pour out her frustrations she really didn't notice I haven't touched my meal. Never in my life have I seen a woman take in that much food in one seating. She ate every meal we ordered including that large pot of stewed pork that I didn't bother to know what it was. She just kept crying and I just couldn't console her although I did manage to get her to laugh once in a while.

I watched as this girl crumbled before me. She was so in love with her man that she really didn't care what he did to her. I resisted the urge to tell her to let go because I know at that moment it was really pointless. I watched in silence as I listened intently to her mindless yammering. Mindless in a sense that she was still engrossed in her feelings for him. There was really no stopping her.

Not long ago I was somewhat in her place. She was there when I also poured my heart out. Not that it was any good anyway since I wasn't the type who shares much about himself except, maybe, my sexcapades, which probably is more than I care to divulge - especially to a woman. I went with her to return the favor. It feels good to pay your side of the emotional debt. :) Yet I was still powerless to help her except just sit there and watch her fall apart.

Something about that experience made me think that God was, in fact, teaching me a lesson. The girl wasn't the one who was being taught a lesson because she was told that over and over again.

That night was mine to discover. There I was looking down at her listening to her feelings and quiet sobs. I realized that this was what a girl becomes if you break her heart. I realized that this is how much a girl could love a guy. This knowledge now gave me a new sense of understanding as well as the potential power to misuse it. God was telling me something.

I've known girl friends who would share to me their heartaches. But I've never stuck around to see anything like this. I've never actually seen a woman who was hopelessly in love with someone. Yet something told me that I was candidly looking at the women I have loved before embodied by this one woman. I cannot help but think this girl was my ex crying her heart out over the times I've hurt her.

What broke her heart and why she acted like she did is something I promised not to share with anyone. Although I didn't get her to get over the guy. I just told her that her decision is hers alone. I bid her goodnight when I dropped her home and relished the thought that I did my part in keeping her together as much as I could.

She will be okay. She's as strong as I have known her. Although she was really in bad shape than I've ever seen her she will survive it just like everything else.

Monday, July 03, 2006

How were you cheated?

Believe it or not you can tell about the character of your infidel partner by who or what reasons they have for cheating on you. While the age-old debate of whether cheating is poetic justice or just plain a sin still rages on I crack down on the psychological side of things. If I am too blunt on saying some of them, I apologize but reality is reality.

They've found some one new

This can be many factors. The possibilities are endless but who they replaced you with is a sign of what you are lacking and it basically shows what kind of a person your partner is.

The 3rd party:
  • is rich
While it is in the nature of women to find the mate that will make her secure for the rest of her life her heart will always try to overlook that. The fact that she is into this guy right now is because you hadn't given her the affection she needs. Most girls will always fall head over heels over someone who can give them the affection they want. They can overlook your weaknesses if they know you'll always be there for them.

For the guy? Well, if a guy is looking for some rich girl then he's got some serious man-issues to address. By all means it should be the men "bringing home the bacon" so to speak. I don't mind finding a rich girl myself but I want to pull my own weight so I could give her as much as I can. Of course, I don't want a woman who stays at home. Too much of that shrinks the brain. I'd want her to have a successful career but by all means am I not expecting that she's a highly paid workaholic.

  • is already married
As much as I find this so gross this has to be addressed as well. I usually find these type of people sickos. Going after married men/women? C'mon! Any person who is like this is just plain scandalous! A troublemaker is something you don't want in your partner. I'd like to point out that if this happens then remember the previously discussed section.
  • is good looking
While this may sound shallow this is actually an animal instinct that is common in all creatures in the animal kingdom. It is in our nature to find the most superior and acceptable gene for our offspring. While even for your own vain self you find yourself superior apparently your partner doesn't see it that way. But if that were the only excuse then good riddance to them. This would be the definite meaning of "shallow".
  • has a job
Well if this happens my question would be, why didn't you get one? I know times are hard and it's just as hard to find a job but that's not excuse not to keep trying. Find ways to get it. Your partner should be your motivation to get one. No boy/girl likes a slacker unless they are one.
  • is adventurous
Everyone likes a little thrill from time to time. Let out that romantic in you by planning out some things from time to time. While you may not be the easily bored type (i.e. simple-minded) your partner may not be like you. They want something out of the ordinary from time to time.
  • is challenging
Sometimes you need to take your partners for granted once in a while so they can get some appreciation of missing you. If you show them that you can easily be swayed by them then the challenge is not there. They've turned to this new person because this new person gives them the thrill of getting their attention the hard way. This is just as similar to the section above.

"It's not you. It's me."

One of the common excuses. It basically means you're not the one who can change the way they are. Otherwise, they wouldn't end up blaming themselves for not giving you what you need. I usually blame this on bad judgment on the "victims". Oh, well, on to the next one. You can't win em all.

It's just not working out

Ok. This is the simplest and most straightforward excuse. You don't need to know how or why - just take the hint. IT'S NOT WORKING OUT. End of story. Why do you need get it right in the first place. You have to accept the fact that some things are not meant to be.

I'll be adding more to this blog from time to time so stay tuned.

What others are yacking...