Saturday, July 08, 2006

What becomes of the broken-hearted

Last night I spent some time with a female friend of mine. She was somewhat distressed when I saw her the morning of that day. She told me she had a huge problem in her relationship. Knowing her, I assumed it was probably those same moments in her life again.

So there I was with her eating at a Korean restobar. (She loves Korean food) She ordered two types of pork meals. Having had dinner with my managers a few hours before I really wasn't up to the task of dining with her. It didn't matter anyway because after she started to pour out her frustrations she really didn't notice I haven't touched my meal. Never in my life have I seen a woman take in that much food in one seating. She ate every meal we ordered including that large pot of stewed pork that I didn't bother to know what it was. She just kept crying and I just couldn't console her although I did manage to get her to laugh once in a while.

I watched as this girl crumbled before me. She was so in love with her man that she really didn't care what he did to her. I resisted the urge to tell her to let go because I know at that moment it was really pointless. I watched in silence as I listened intently to her mindless yammering. Mindless in a sense that she was still engrossed in her feelings for him. There was really no stopping her.

Not long ago I was somewhat in her place. She was there when I also poured my heart out. Not that it was any good anyway since I wasn't the type who shares much about himself except, maybe, my sexcapades, which probably is more than I care to divulge - especially to a woman. I went with her to return the favor. It feels good to pay your side of the emotional debt. :) Yet I was still powerless to help her except just sit there and watch her fall apart.

Something about that experience made me think that God was, in fact, teaching me a lesson. The girl wasn't the one who was being taught a lesson because she was told that over and over again.

That night was mine to discover. There I was looking down at her listening to her feelings and quiet sobs. I realized that this was what a girl becomes if you break her heart. I realized that this is how much a girl could love a guy. This knowledge now gave me a new sense of understanding as well as the potential power to misuse it. God was telling me something.

I've known girl friends who would share to me their heartaches. But I've never stuck around to see anything like this. I've never actually seen a woman who was hopelessly in love with someone. Yet something told me that I was candidly looking at the women I have loved before embodied by this one woman. I cannot help but think this girl was my ex crying her heart out over the times I've hurt her.

What broke her heart and why she acted like she did is something I promised not to share with anyone. Although I didn't get her to get over the guy. I just told her that her decision is hers alone. I bid her goodnight when I dropped her home and relished the thought that I did my part in keeping her together as much as I could.

She will be okay. She's as strong as I have known her. Although she was really in bad shape than I've ever seen her she will survive it just like everything else.

1 comment:

ma said...

man you are really blessed... let me quote you... " ........ I realized that this was what a girl becomes if you break her heart. I realized that this is how much a girl could love a guy. This knowledge now gave me a new sense of understanding as well as the potential power to misuse it. God was telling me something." .....not all guys can see through it. =)

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