Sunday, November 26, 2006

Web development failure by committing cardinal sin #1

As part of my experience in the web development field I have learned not to make typical mistakes that spells an all out disaster of a website. Being under the mentorship of a man who was sales, marketing and development all rolled into one, you get to learn a lot of meaningful things. One of the first things NOT to do with a website is to saturate with with features that eventually become useless or hard to maintain.

This week our competitor just released their version of a project we were working for the past year. I can't help but feel amused at the situation. Not that I'm not showing any loyalty to my company, my loyalty lies to my job.

Today, I tried out the site and see how they did their stuff. To my surprise, it was simpler and no nonsense. No hassles, actually. Again, a surge of amusement coursed through my mind. I can't say I'm surprised at this development. We just spend the last year bickering over what field shows up and what it should and should not do. Trivial matters that should have been left trivial. Yet everyday I am treated as if I am not seriously doing my job. Accused of doing unrelated things. I didn't need to explain my actions. This development proves it all. They screwed up even after I warned them again and again not to go overboard with this. It's kinda a ironic how in their desperate and "competent" attempts to simplify customer experience they have dug us into a hole of unconventional, not to mention inconvenient, professional practice, they have also introduced more problems for the user than ever before. It takes an entire day to figure out a workaround for an unusual scenario that can simply be ignored. Yet I have to fix it just because it bothers them. Huh? For that same amount of time I could've spent it on getting major things done.

Why were people who know nothing about websites made to handle this task? Websites are designed to present information to customers/visitors not interact with the lowest levels of an operating system. Yet here we were trying to make it possible. It's not that it's not hard or impossible to do, it was just that it is not a good idea. It just introduces more complications and security implications. We have already been accused once of using spyware and here we are trying to do something suspiciously similar. It's amusing, pathetic and irritating all at once.

It's really sad how in a room full of engineers everyone is right. No one admits to being wrong and no one wants to listen. On top of that everyone in my team has been profiled as choleric temperaments. Unfortunately, I'm the only one who is actually on the frontline of this project is me. The only one competent enough about web-related tasks. Yet here I am being dictated by people who claim to know more about my job than I do. The hypocrisy lies in being reprimanded for not being a team player because I think on my own and yet when something goes wrong because one of them isn't doing their part it's MY fault as if I weren't in a team at all.

I've had it with this. I'm moving on to another rat hole.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006




My new profile photo. :)

Friday, November 03, 2006

Unconditional love? But I just can't...

There are many signs of incompatibility. I have gone such a long way in experiencing different relationships with women from different walks of life and, in a way, learned the different facets of my nation's existence.

If anyone is wondering why I titled my blog like that, well, you’ll see later after I make these random ramblings as part of my point. But to start off my little history lesson, I believe some of my friends know how much of a hopeless romantic I am. Throughout the course of my quest to find Ms. Right I have come across the Ms. Wrongs of my life that have equally taught me the great value of being street smart with love and not just to throw reason outside the door. For that, I am eternally grateful to them. After all, they are the very reason why I am what I am today: A sad, hopeless, frustrated, loveless, sexless and depressed prick that is at the point of giving up. :p

I have learned why a provincial girl who grew up alone in the city ends up as a gold digging social climber who can't have a decent sense of humor and a good understanding of "the real high life". To them, hanging out in cheap bars and cheap drinks is the "high life". Yep, the high life alright! That goes without saying that the people they hang out with are the "high-class" prostitutes who happen to be their classmates (best friends to some) and all the while backstabbing and degrading them in their absence. Ignorance is bliss. These types of people try hard to be like the city folks and in the process end up making fools out of themselves in their desperate attempt to deny their roots. Why can't they just accept where they're from? What's so shameful about it?

I have learned why the poor will always be poor from the daughter of a poor family. This experience taught me that soap operas - Korean, Japanese, Taiwanese or homegrown for that matter - is far more interesting than reading and writing; that who this girl of that show is dating and who is wearing what is far more thrilling than watching a documentary. “Small minds talk about other people.” This is why this community solely thrives on gossip.

In this experience I have also learned the poor quality of education this country has to offer. This girl was a graduate from an education course with a major in English and yet cannot speak a single English sentence without making at least two grammatical errors. Hmm…. Perhaps their kitchen (my specialty) can yield better answers… AND IT DOES!

I was raised from a decent and well-off family and yet I can clean their dishes far better than she could. Rats, which were literally crawling all over their place, have nothing to scrape off the utensils after I was done. I was a miracle worker! I have a scar that proves this. It even took a year for the scar to disappear. It's probably because the damn place is dirty and that crap is probably under my skin. If their minds were as decayed as the sanitation of their kitchen then I wouldn’t be surprised with her degree of mental aptitude. Most people who don’t know any better would probably whine about this comment but we all know for any person to be genetically developed the environment must be conducive for development. Who cares about money as long as you have each other? This passive paradigm is the very core of their social standing. They don’t actually help each other, as what they intend to impart amongst each other, but rather USE each other. Should you be one of the lucky poor chaps who refuse to help your brethren you may end up walking from point A to point B with a knife stuck somewhere in your body. Assuming Point B is your home, you’ll be lucky if it’s still standing.

I was unfortunate enough to stumble twice on these kind of women and, much to my regret, that my dream girl happened to be in this category. These women’s moral? “Bahala’g saging basta labing.” They don’t care if they’re broke as long as they love each other. Duh! Love doesn’t pay the rent last I heard.

I have learned why that book I read about youth and child psychology is correct. That and along with the factors that exist in the previous kinds of women I have mentioned affect their behavior. I did find myself loving younger women. Perhaps even a decade younger than me, which literally puts me within the range of teenagers. Corrupting minors? Please throw me in jail for being so moronic! It’s not their fault for loving me but mine for tolerating it! While I admire their capacity to love blindly and unconditionally the way a child would, this sense of naiveté is not the kind of love I want. That’s just it! It’s just love in its simplest form. Nothing fancy, nothing extraordinary. I simply cannot ask them to appreciate dinner, movie and other romantic things we young adults have grown to love. These days it gets worse, apparently they find sex has much more gravity in a relationship than the nice things like having a long and meaningful conversation without having to listen to every “eww”, “huh” and “yuck” along the way. To them, "I love yous" and other sweet nothings hold more meaning than going the extra mile for your loved one. I know that the first sign of a problem they will leave me here standing with nothing - alone in the world and helpless. Sigh! It’s no wonder why teenage pregnancy is so rampant. Teenagers cannot see beyond the consequences of this act and stubbornly refuse to listen to reason. After all, how can they fathom such level of understanding anyway? I cannot, however, blame them for I have walked that same wretched path of youthful rebellion. It’s the feeling of being invincible without knowing that I can be squashed like a bug by those who know better. Anyway, when reality finally slaps them in the head, it's their life. What made me survive is my sense of “mechanical thinking” as what a friend of mine calls it. I’m a guy who can figure out how something works just by thinking or looking at it. Perhaps it’s this high regard to treat my youthful mate as my equal and my high expectations that has caused me a great deal of disappointment and in the process scare them away. After all, I was under the impression that women think ten years beyond their supposed age. I, myself, have tried to futility to reason with these women (as if that were even possible with women. lol). In the long debate of making them understand I stopped at my tracks and told myself to say no more. Let them learn. To make someone understand, experience is the best teacher, not me. It’s frustrating really. On the bright side, at least they’re acting their age instead of having to deal with women who are close to my age and acting like this group. Hehehe…

In contrast to what I have learned above also, rich brats take this level of frustration even higher. They cost more than a high class hooker. Believe me when I say that you'll get more luck with the hooker and you're not obligated to anything after the debauchery is over. At least you only have to pay once.

I have moved myself up in my career through a multinational corporation I simply cannot stoop back down to small-medium enterprises that is abundant in my hometown. I'm really stuck in a stalemate here. SMEs don’t give me room to go beyond and the little corporations here narrow down my career choices. What’s my point in bringing this up? Just as my career is currently in deepfreeze in this city I also cannot stoop my standards to women who don’t fit the bill of my long list of requirements. It really hurts me how I have to maintain this certain degree of scrutiny when I myself am not supposed to give a shit. Yet here I am meticulously weeding out that one elusive girl that would bring me to my knees. Yet all I seem to have noticed is the opposite happening. If didn’t know any better I’d get laid and get hitched with the first girl who comes falling at my feet. But that’s not me anymore. I can’t go back to who I was before this monolith of an ego for a man.

Before anyone can make a generalized comment of my, oh, too generalized blog, I would like to point out that this judgment does not come without a somewhat twisted reasoning as what most of you may have already figured out by now. Sure, there are good people in all these stereotypes. I know, because I give these women more credit than they deserve and end up very disappointed. You see in newspapers and movies about some of these people moving up in the world but take note that they are extremely unique and exceptional individuals and I even to some extent idolize their accomplishments - accomplishments that I do not dream or just take for granted. You may rarely come across or meet them in the course of your life.

I know I sound more of a perfectionist by not yielding to love as what a lot of people define it but I'm too old to take chances to love unconditionally and I'm too smart to love blindly. I've gone so far to throw it all away on an emotion that no human in history can fathom. I can't afford to put myself through those sleepless nights brooding over trivial things. Those days where I walk around mindlessly completely oblivious of the world around me because some duplicitous witch has just dealt me a killing blow is barely anyone's idea of a happy ending. I sound bitter? No! I'm still all for happy endings with the one you're meant to be. I just want to see this time who stays and who goes. I give my heart the girl who stays behind. So far it has been very effective in saving me unecessary relationships. Reconsider? The world is unreasonable. It doesn't listen to reason. It doesn't listen and doesn't show mercy. I'm just sick and tired of giving something and coming up empty handed. Why do it at all?

I can't fall in love so easily. I can't. I simply can't!

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