Saturday, December 30, 2006

The shallower I get...

Many blogs ago I posted an entry about what I want in a woman.

I have read that entry over and over again lately to the point that I've realized that I ended up deleting some deluded chick's (who was probably someone I knew and had the perverse intentions of me) lunatic advice AND put her in her place. Sigh, the price of fame. I mean, hey, this blog isn't intended to catch someone's attention but rather share the irony of my somewhat complicated life caught in a tasteless yet complicated world. Anyway, back on topic.

I remembered the movie "Shallow Hal" (one of my favorites) as I thought about that blog. Of course, everyone who saw that movie can recall that Hal's dad was too drugged to be thinking straight but even in the midst of the ironic humor he had somewhat of a point. Find the most gorgeous woman there is with big round breasts, luscious lips and a hot body! Friends and visitors have often expressed concerns about my steep requirements for my woman of choice - shallow to a few of them. Hell, how can a steep requirement be shallow? Believe me, that long list didn't come without a high price. It is gained from years of observation, experience and a long-awaited realization about my taste in unpleasant women who's got more pussy than brains. I, for one, plead guilty to that debauchery. After all, we guys only think about sex like...90% of the time?

Illustrating your ideal mate often is the product of another facet of soul-searching. Some of the naive, ergo, idiotic advice I get is lowering my standards to give others a chance; that I should lower it because that's supposed to be what you do after each relationship. I see, make yourself more of a sex trap for more lunatic women! Why would I lower my standards after repeated failures at that pitiful level of scrutiny?

Picking a mate to me is like picking a puppy. The way I read it in a book: "Don't pick the last one because you feel sorry for it." I had committed this mistake more than once in my life. I often expressed sympathy to some of them for being so desperately in love with my mysterious nature - desperate being the operative word for the both of us. Honestly, I have only gone through those classical boy meets girl love stories a couple of times in my life. But, hey, theirs is not an excuse! For all they I know I could be some serial killer or some stalker - not that I am the last time I checked. Anyways, I share too much of myself to quite rub that mystery off of me. But is that really just who I am? And for all I know that's probably not as deep as I want them to see.

As I am closing more than a year of my, er, bachelorhood I find that seriously finding a mate could take longer than getting a date or laid on a weekend. Seriously, it really doesn't take long till one woman fails to fit the bill every time I see one. Frustrating, but if you're really not in a hurry then you're really going to enjoy the ride. I'm not expecting a rewarding outcome towards the end of all this but at least the thought that someone like me wasn't easily shot down is suspense enough. I just have to make sure that whoever shot me down was worth it all. After all, my dad once told me to make a choice, die now or die slowly.

Lately, I realized that it's really hard to emphasize on character because we initially see the exterior shell of a person. I really give emphasis on this. Aside from the fact that I am a man it's really the first thing you see. Let's face it, none of us, especially men, have the ability of reading people's minds, do we? From the moment I wrote that blog I knew that emphasis should be taken to her appearance as much as her character. Never again can I forgive myself if I let some mediocre gal (read: tasteless, useless, loser, has-been) or some ugly bitch (read: someone who can just kick it in bed coz any girl can be Nicole Kidman if they got a hole to stick it in) break my heart. If that girl is ever going to break my heart she better be gorgeous with men drooling all over ALL of her (not just that thing between her legs) and as intellectually superior as hell to boot. We really can't have a nobody tearing us down, can we? I say this because in the event of disillusionment we don't have to end up saying "My, God, why did I ever fall for that butt-ugly bitch in the first place?!!" Dead relationships should be remembered as good food that leaves something to desire not some exotic delicacy that leaves a rancid aftertaste.

In my native language we would say: "Kung mamiya siya! Hinanglan naa siya ikabuga!" (If she's gonna leave me, she better have something to show for it!) Suffice it to say that the next girl who's going to break my heart better be some rich bitch or some local famous gold digging goddess because I'll be damned if I ever let some two-bit nobody or has-been loser tear my insides inside out - if that were even possible!

We are told time and again that we can never find the perfect man or woman. If you look for the perfect person in the world he or she may not exist but if you look for the person who you deem perfect for you, then there is really a sure chance that such a person exists. I have thrown away all caution that I will never find a perfect mate. These "control" advice that these doctors like to tell you only seek to blind our eyes to what we can really do by hurting ourselves.

I will find her! I don't care how long it takes but I will. However, I still haven't figured out what to say or do when I do find her. :p Oh, well, I have all the time in the world to figure that out.

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