Saturday, December 23, 2006

Wasted! I died last night.

Just woke up today with a lingering feeling of the events that unfolded the night before.

The evening started just like any night out we organized. We made reservations at POD5 KTV located at the Banilad Town Center. I cannot shake the feeling that I forgot something at the office that night. I knew I left my backpack on purpose so I don't have to potentially drag anything else but myself back home. My building was just far away to make it convenient for me to check what I that unknown thing I left behind. Little did I know that this little excursion would not materialize due to the unforeseen outcome of tonight's debauchery.

To cut a long story short, after two bottles of tequila and a few glasses of Red Horse beer everything turned into a "dream state".

I last remembered walking to the bathroom before this overwhelming surge of drunkenness hit me like a disease. It felt like my very life was sucked out of me. I remembered bending over the toilet to relieve myself of unwanted toxins then finally kneeling over to relieve myself some more. I remembered getting up and leaning over the sink before finally falling backwards towards the wall. The world was black.

Everything else felt like a dream with random flashes of events occurring here and there... You can see and hear things going on but you really can't speak or move.

The events unfolded in a few minutes but, to my lackluster brain streaming with alcohol in it's very essence (for some reason I always thought it was already there), everything actually happened a couple of hours or so.

Event 1:
Someone opens the door. I couldn't see anything but the bottom of sink stand and the bottom of the toilet. I can see two pairs of legs walking around.

"Na naunsa naman ni? (What the...?)" says one voice.
"Pangitaa didto kung kinsa naka ila ani (try find someone in the rooms who can claim the body)" said another.

I can feel them groping my pants for some form of emergency info and all the while I was praying they don't find my cellphone and call my parents. They find my wallet and read my license. I'm somewhat thankful I didn't bring any cash with me that day.

I tried with all my might to muster the strength to stand up and come to my senses. Nothing... BLACK.

Event 2:
I can hear Fred's voice as he walks into the bathroom. I heard a second voice (I later discovered it was Lemuel).

"Ato sa ning limpyohan. (let's minimize the damage and obscure the cause of death)" says Fred. "Sige, boss, kami lang bahala ani. (We'll deal with this. You didn't see anything!)"

"Ngano ni anhi pa man ko oi?! (So that's why you called me here!)" Lemuel regretted.

I still could not move.

"Ato nalang ni ibalhin sa kwarto kai daghan naghulat sa gawas. (Hide the body. Kill the witnesses.)

BLACK.

Event 3:
Murmuring voices in the distance.

I don't know when it happened but I was told that the room was a pool of intestinal fortitude. Of course, I really couldn't see anything if I'm facing upwards.

I heard someone trying to wake me up to no avail. I could hear Romer throwing up in the distance.

BLACK.

Event 4:
Oh, no! I can hear my mom's voice! Please tell me this is a REAL dream! Please tell me someone didn't find my goddamn phone's number!

"Na unsa naman mo diri?! (Palahubog mani akong anak oi! Utro pud ning mga kaila!)" she scolded.

"Sorry, madam, wa man mi kabalo dali diay maigo si Chad. (I suggest you start claiming his insurance.)" Mikai apologized.

Unlike a previous colleague's experience with booze and parents, their presence wasn't strong enough to wake me from my drunken stupor. The motivation was moot at this point. If I stood up or if stayed down the reaction would be the same. As one boxer once said "Stay down. It's safer."

I remembered being carried away to our car with my mom screaming at the waiters

I also remembered some nitwit scream at the end of the hall. "Ma'am, wa pa raba na siya ka badge out!"

Sheyt! So that's what I forgot back at the office! :-O

Epilogue:
I remember waking up the next day at the sofa bed. I remember the guards carrying me there when we got home. I went to my room and scraped chunks of whatever-I-ate-last-night off my soiled and ruined shirt. After taking it off I passed out for good on my bed.

Friends = Enemy
Alcohol = Friend

1 comment:

ghenal said...

a lament by a true blue "palahubog".

What others are yacking...