Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Career realizations

Shit happens.

Yep, it's inevitable. One way or another we are unwitting victims to Murphy's Law. However, in my book Murphy's Law has some holes of opportunity in it.

Three months ago I got suspended from work due to non-business use of company resources - by THEIR judgment not mine. Apparently, in this company engineers and IT technicians know more about my job than I do. Now being an anti-employer person I took it as if nothing happened. I really didn't care if I was getting suspended or getting fired. There I was going out of the office with a big smile on my face. There goes the last drop of my professional soul. I could throw ethics out the door as well but I may have to do that at a later time.

It is in times of crisis that you really get to see things in perspective. After all the late nights of work and countless occasions of being forced to kiss a white boy's ass, what do I get? My manager feeds me to the very people who have wrongfully accused me of abusing company resources. It's a nice feeling to know that the person who's supposed to have your back ends up stabbing it. Someone else gets the leading role and the promotion and I am the one slapped with a "need to improve" notice. My, God, this company has an interesting incentive program for hard work! I used to think that the program management joke "the rewarding of the non-contributors and the punishment of the innocent" was just mere sarcasm. It's not funny now that you're the punchline.

The suspension being "rewarded" to me was a sign...
that I should stop taking my company seriously because THEY don't take me seriously.
that maybe I should find a love life in the real world than on the Internet.
that I should dedicate 1/4 of my time for my job and 3/4 for myself. It used to be the other way around. This is the turning point in my life right here! I've seen more people throw there lives away for this reason than with any other vice I've known. Some people go the career path and never quite come back out of it alive. I'm still 29 years old. I want to salvage what's left of my life instead of wasting it all away on THIS. This was the time I've made that choice. I may never have it again.

As the story of Capt. Hernan Cortes goes, he burned his ships to prevent his troops from retreating. My manager friend told me not to burn bridges. I think otherwise. Although it is not necessary to do so I am NOT afraid to burn bridges in my career. Why would I want to go back to a company who was unkind and unfair to me? Even if that wasn't the case, why go back at all? This advice obviously sounds like anticipated desperation. I'm not that desperate! If the reason was for background checks it isn't that hard to tell your next employer that your previous one had a serious case of being mentally disturbed (try the pedophile excuse. It works all the time with former expat employers!). Go figure. With any luck and some pity they'll probably promote you to manager right away. They'll proceed immediately to removing 15% of your brain, which, coincidentally, is that same amount of brain activity we use to think. But if you're getting laid err... paid two times than your last job the loss is negligible. If you're the type who did NOTHING in your last job you won't even miss it.

My former-colleague-promoted-to-manager advised me to be a little more civil about some of my frustrations. He occasionally talked to me in private in his office and he would give me this half-smile that would project his feeling of awkwardness of his new role and looking at someone he likes to taunt on a daily basis. Contrary to his advice, I don't throw flowers to garbage. A large chunk of the world only understands the language of violence. No matter how you try to deny it, the only way to survive in this world is learn a little bit of your primal instincts.

I thought that this was it but for the first time during my stay in this company I can shamefully say I was wrong. Wrong in choosing.

1 comment:

jaslil said...

I had to go back to this post.

I couldn't think of anything more to say to make my friend feel any better. Instead, I sent her this link plus this line: 3.) I do all the hard work and someone else gets rewarded. I get blamed for everything else that goes wrong.

Yes, she's from the same company.

What others are yacking...