Saturday, April 21, 2007

Say my name?

One quiet day I was at my desk when one of my colleagues walked up behind me. "Chad?"

I was awoken from my usual daydreaming when hearing my name struck me as strange. It felt as if I haven't heard it for years. Like maybe I was tuck into solitary confinement and probably driven to madness by the isolation. But neither things happened and solitary confinement would probably a welcome change from this hectic pressured life. Nonetheless, it gave me that weird sensation - the sensation of familiarity and longing. But that wasn't all.

Given my sarcastic and dark spontaneous humor I always get that feeling of guilty when I hear my name. Like when my mom used to firmly say something when she was being serious. That feeling was there now. Perhaps any minute he could mutter something heartily serious to me on this ordinary day of days. No such thing was being said.

That was just it! There wasn't actually anything serious he firmly wanted. There was no anticipated nagging or annoying reminder. He just wanted to see if everything was okay - the usual manager stuff. Although it somewhat bothered me to a disturbing end, it was just nothing.

It still bothers me to hear my name being said in a somewhat soft and calm way. Maybe I'm just being caught up in the moment that I didn't stop to think that there actually people around me and not just mindless drones rack-a-tack-clicking on their computers.

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