Monday, October 29, 2007

This is why I hate neutrality in this country

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.

-- Martin Niemoeller

I made this version after my experience in my last corrupt company:

In this company, they came first for the OJTs,
And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t an OJT;

And then they came for the contractors,
And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a contractor;

And then they came for the Engineers,
And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t an Engineer;

And then . . . they came for me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up."

Monday, October 22, 2007

My Goodbye (resignation) Letter

Much to my creative cruelty I'd like to strip down or spruce up some things in the words I say to spare everyone the humiliation or angst.

Below is a letter I sent on the last day of work along with the original thoughts (aka commentaries) in bold italics. Names have been modified (not changed) to instill maximum insult and humiliation where necessary.

Subject: Ladies and gentlemen, it has been an honor.

As I venture into another stepping stone in my quest for greater challenges, I cannot continue without first looking back and show the gratitude, pride and humility (all at the same time) that it has brought me to even know some of you exceptional individuals. Of course, not everyone has the convincing power to be a hypocrite but I believe I pulled it off pretty well over here considering humility is the last of the traits I can learn from this company. Challenges? Yes, we all seek it! Especially, when the job I held had no apparent future. Think along the lines of the FBI ranking non-special agents as mechanics and janitors.

As I mark my final existence in this broke printer company's system and hear those BROKEn magnetic locks shut behind me for the last time (presuming it doesn't get stuck halfway and cause mass hysteria on the security staff), I take with me the memories, both good and bad, for they have served me well in all circumstances. The good memories help me relish how interesting it is to work with all of you and how much fun we had in and out of work. The bad ones, as well, serve as lessons and consequently serve to reinforce my confidence in myself. That, indeed, I deserve something better. These experiences are all blessings no matter which way I look at it for they have helped mold my self-defined code of ethics. As much as everyone in management is glad to see my anticipated departure, this was me telling them to kiss my ass. Good thing I have my own set of rules and these rules define the integrity and credibility of how I do my job - two things this company doesn't seem to possess.

I can honestly say that my team and my department has always been a driving and motivating force that influence my career everyday. To quit!

To J.Lo, who has been my mentor and overbearing big sister that I never had, thanks for being the open door and open ear to all my frustrations and wacky ideas. I also thank you for giving me the opportunity to lead the team for 5 projects and its eventual completion and success. Because of that, it has reinforced my confidence that I can tackle larger challenges and you have proven to me that I can lead – I never thought I could but I did. You made that possible. :) Suffice it to say you created a monster with a humongous ego! Unfortunately, the hidden rule that I have to sleep with my boss is a level of LOW that even a half wit and self-righteous employee such as myself is unwilling to go. I'm not doing it with her and that's why I'm leaving! Anyways, at least I have proven to be an efficient and exceptionally skilled individual. Hell, I could do their marketing department's job and they have been known to be ineffective. Unlike a certain someone with a 0% success rate and only proceeded to improve his career at my expense as well as everyone else's expense.

To THE-ONLY-WHITE-BOY-THAT-MATTERED, who inspired and motivated not only me but everyone in our past team to work for this BROKE printer company since day one with his unique ideas and challenging concepts, I thank you for your guidance and inspiration. You are a great man not only to us but a great example of deluded dedication. You are a great role model for all of us. Yep, I'll bet this was one practical joke that left most of you guys laughing at me. But then again, I bullshit you, you bullshit me. I tricked you into hiring me and you tricked me into believing that this company actually had the decency to be a upstanding corporation. Everyone had their share of the fun. Oh, well, I'm allowed to make personal mistakes. Unfortunately, companies aren't.

To the BROKE printer company, thank you for the opportunities, the privileges, the memories and for being instrumental in my career path. Free ink, free paper, a computer, an Internet connection and a printer to boot for printing all those resumes to submit to other companies here, abroad and online. Everything else... what opportunities? There were none!

(Deleted paragraphs) To my manager, contrary to what you said, "thank you" is enough to repay me for everything because apparently that's all that this company can afford. Apparently, in your haste to come up with a hypocritical answer the two words you would die NOT SAYING to me came out of your fingers. Can I forgive you? When karma catches up, yes, I will!

Update 2009: A former colleague informed me that said manager was "demoted" (although demotion is not possible in this company) for being ineffective. I can't say I'm surprised. Who would expect anything more from a person who sits in the corner and never talks to anyone?

To the white fat guy who's so full of himself (literally) and can't mind his own business. You always taught me that saying nothing is the best way to stay out of trouble. Ironically, a friend of mine wound up dead with 19 stab wounds in a motel also chose to keep quiet. I'd rather be a dead squealer taking everyone else down with me. Apparently this company only rewards people who squeals first and denies the other one the same justice. Thank, God, I never sent those apology letters. I don't apologize to ingrates and I don't need to save myself from this company. Broke companies don't deserve apologies, they are OBLIGATED to explain their downfall AND give me an excuse to keep work for them! It's like a beggar asking me to buy them coffee!

Update 2009: I was informed that said white fat guy died of a heart attack. Probably after cleaning up the company's email virus outbreak (and they had the gall to RELY on the judgement of their IT staff?!). I also found over Google that said white guy was an outspoken expat on dialogues about their quality of life in the Philippines and that he will be missed. The said comments had me screaming in my chair. Outspoken?! The guy was a troublemaker! And one of his peers had the gall to call Filipinos gold diggers?! WTF, dude! Reality check: You white boys no longer have any money! I hope you burn in hell!

To THE-2ND-LEVEL-WHITE-MANAGER-WHO-ONLY-REPEATS-WHAT-HE'S-TOLD, the fact that your replies always seem scripted makes me realize now that it was for your own good. Otherwise, you might blurt out some deep hidden fantasy of you trying to suck my balls. Better be a puppet than be a gay scandal, eh? It's all right. I forgive you. Just like the fact that I forgave you for helping me realize that honesty, hard work and all that bureaucratic bullshit your company whines about was actually an endless trail of my career to nowhere. Also, stop claiming to be "just like us" because the company did not give each of us a high-end house in Ma. Luisa, we are not PAID IN DOLLRS and our attendance is actually checked by human resources. If you decide to accept being paid the same ridiculous salary we are being paid THEN you can say you are "one of us" (you can keep the house).

For the rest, it has been a great 3 years (please! leave now while you still can!), 1 month and 14 days (and xx number of OT hours unaccounted for in the system =p). This is not a “farewell” but rather "see you around". I felt so sorry for your poor financial standing that it always made me feel guilty for charging you for a task that I know I will regret doing.

So, see you around. ;) And KISS MY ASS!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The BPO bubble

Three years ago I wanted a shot to be some sorry ass international school-graduate answering phone calls to the amusement of some pedophile white boy who didn't have anything better to do so he plans to go to the Philippines and exploit younger kids out of college.

One year later, the sorry ass call center I applied for called me. This time I was worth ten thousand pesos over their allocated budget for hiring someone of the position I was considered.

Three years have passed since I even considered applying for call centers and since then I have known better. However, calls still keep coming for offers to be the West's bitch.

On a personal note, I've come to realize that on a certain level in my pride that I didn't just waste my parents' hard earned money so I can be some first class emotional prostitute for the 1st world countries. On top of that, I have to put my loser self along with the rest of the high school and college dropouts and the premarital sex victims. Hey, don't get me wrong here. It's probably not their fault they're like that. Mommy and Daddy probably played mahjong a little too much or with the "other" family and neglected Jojo and Nene's needs. I also have nothing against premarital sex lest I were not guilty of the same acts of debauchery. Of course, I wasn't stupid enough to get drunk in a room full of men so someone could get lucky with sex roulette. I'm not being judgmental here - I leave that to the divorce court's job or the church. (Note: I hear those things cost around PHP200,000) ;)

As I was saying, why waste my future being paid a ridiculous and indecent salary working late night shifts at the expense of my health and social life helping some mentally retarded 1st world western who doesn't know the difference between his $3,000 computer and a microwave oven, which no doubt he will be using for kiddie porn, so he can live his luxurious life while I rot here in this God-forsaken cubicle wondering what the hell a $3,000 computer or $3,000 for that matter looks like? Why? I wouldn't even be stupid enough to think I have a future doing that job even if I ended up a manager, which, ironically, would be the position I would be looking for if I were to apply in such companies. Like, hell, I'd be working for a drop-out who watches too many cowboy movies in a dead-end job.

Soon there will be more products out there than the people using them. There will be more people out here waiting for yet another filthy rich and witless foreigner who can't read a manual whose fonts are smaller than their brains because it isn't littered with bikini-clad women.

Will this whole trend blow over? As far as past employment economies have dictated, it always will. One way or another what goes up must come down. The only thing that scares me is how big this bubble will be before it blows up because I sure as hell don't want to be around when the mass layoffs start taking place.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

I thought of her

I saw her again. There she was in the watch store with strangers - colleagues I'd presume. I held her waist trying to pass off as some getting fresh with her. She smiled in surprise and recognition.

Five years and all I could muster was an awkward "hello" and some lame joke she probably gets quite often. So there she was, my goddess from the distant past. Every mark and every mole on her golden skin was right where I remember them - even if I couldn't see them under her clothes. I'm just glad to see her. Yet as I stare briefly at her she was, for some unknown reason, different.

I tried to bring back memories of her and while those memories still held that flame - that magic - that I still desired, the woman standing in front of me didn't possess that magic. I could've talked to her more but I was just compelled to leave not knowing why. It was clear to me now. We only said a few words to each other and I knew this was not the same girl I fell in love with a long time ago. Even though my thoughts lingered on the encounter, I was smiling like a silly high school girl on hormone overdrive.

While she may probably the same girl I loved before, the world has changed and so have I. The girl in my past will be and always be just that, the past. There is no present and there is no future. I have moved on without knowing it - without her. We all outgrow our past and our dreams. On some occasions, they outgrow us. It appears the former happened to me. I will miss her but then again I'm not sure if I really will. Time indeed holds a place for us.

... and sets us free.

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