Thursday, October 04, 2007

I thought of her

I saw her again. There she was in the watch store with strangers - colleagues I'd presume. I held her waist trying to pass off as some getting fresh with her. She smiled in surprise and recognition.

Five years and all I could muster was an awkward "hello" and some lame joke she probably gets quite often. So there she was, my goddess from the distant past. Every mark and every mole on her golden skin was right where I remember them - even if I couldn't see them under her clothes. I'm just glad to see her. Yet as I stare briefly at her she was, for some unknown reason, different.

I tried to bring back memories of her and while those memories still held that flame - that magic - that I still desired, the woman standing in front of me didn't possess that magic. I could've talked to her more but I was just compelled to leave not knowing why. It was clear to me now. We only said a few words to each other and I knew this was not the same girl I fell in love with a long time ago. Even though my thoughts lingered on the encounter, I was smiling like a silly high school girl on hormone overdrive.

While she may probably the same girl I loved before, the world has changed and so have I. The girl in my past will be and always be just that, the past. There is no present and there is no future. I have moved on without knowing it - without her. We all outgrow our past and our dreams. On some occasions, they outgrow us. It appears the former happened to me. I will miss her but then again I'm not sure if I really will. Time indeed holds a place for us.

... and sets us free.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

is she the 'one-who-got-away'?

CH4:D said...

Yep, and now the one I let go.

Anonymous said...

yot, kinsa na man sad ni?

Anonymous said...

i was right to stay manhid. not missing much in the relationship arena. love can die, afterall this is real life and not reel life ;)

CH4:D said...

Kaila man ka ana yot. Ayaw nalang ko dramahi. :p

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