Friday, March 21, 2008


Nothing beats the life of a criminal. Sure, being on the opposide side of the law has your future in infamy but the freedom of doing and getting what you want, when you want it, with people grobling at your feet is pretty much what anyone with exceedingly high ambitions would take.

An upcoming action movie Wanted with Morgan Freeman's voiceover in the life of an assassin had rekindled my fantasies of being society's informal executioner. God's little population controller. Killing someone is just as similar as dying from famine or disease. It's God's way of keeping the human race in check.

I often fantasized about being the judge of who lives and who dies in this world. I try not to think about who wants who shot. The higher power wills his demise for the violent trip back home. The movie was right, why choose to be the sheep in society when you can be the wolf who decides society's fate? Why live a pathetic life of rank and file getting paid by people who wouldn't even hesitate with a conscience to kill your source of survival in today's world? Why be morally and socially murdered by people who are no different and, more often than not, inferior from us? We live as slaves what we define are 'agreed' rules. What if we don't agree?

I come to think of it, why WOULDN'T I go for a life like that? I have no family to speak of, a shaky future as an IT professional (ala Mr. Anderson a.k.a. Neo) and I have all the raw hatred, bitterness and disrespect for the norm of society. Literally speaking, I have no conscience to speak of. I would steal when given the chance, I would cheat if I knew how and I would definitely kill someone for money. The government clouds my mind, my past relationships disintegrated my heart and one my so-called professional life erased whatever ethics I have for it. I wouldn't even bother doing the math. It all goes down to zero. I MIGHT feel sorry for my would be victims but that would be long after my sins are committed and by then it would be pointless to feel guilty. I move on. Justice belongs to the highest bidder.

Why suffer in this world when you can be on top by making everyone else miserable? I know your friends, family and colleagues would do it to you!

What if I get caught? Then I deserve to be shot and killed. I deserve to be in jail to be someone's bitch because I have failed. What the hell, right? We are our boss' bitch every damn day. We live in misery whether we are inside or outside jail cells. If I get killed being stupid then so be it. At least when I was alive I lived like a king. You live an honest life and you fail again and again with the same results. Sure you learn a few things every now and again to tell your grandkids who would forget your stories after dinner. But a criminal? Your stories live on in your victims and to the rest of the people who hate you.

I can never be on top by living a decent honest life. Honesty is what gets me in trouble. Nobility is what gets me in the front line of fire. Bravery is what will get me killed. The thieves, the muggers, the wolves in ties are the real kings of this world - the people who sneak behind you with malicious intent. They live above and beyond the law and society doesn't like the thought the someone is stronger than them. If you're worried about your victims' family, friends and relatives who may not remember you fondly (unless one of them were your customer), guess what? Your boss or some other asshole up top most likely has dozens or hundreds of ex-employees who may not think highly of him. Fired? laid off? Or just plainly hates his guts? Trust me, he could not care less. So why should you? Because you're a human being? Human beings are evil. Deal with it!

You might be thinking I may be someone who's seen too many action movies. Trust me when I say that I didn't get this idea watching movies. I got this by watching the world. I KNOW that the life of these people may or may not live a life of glitz ang glamour. They look nothing like Agent 47 who wears an Armani suit and a $300 neck tie or own a Ducati bike as a getaway vehicle. They wear slippers with holes. They wear torn shorts. They wear old jerseys. They own a second hand beat up motorcycle. Most of all, they look nothing like Josh Hartnett whom you would probably be willing to give your life and virginity. They are mostly dark, short and battle-scarred individuals. But when they speak with their lead-loaded nines the whole world WILL listen. The world will tremble and the law falters.

For my friends and colleagues who have known me for some time you may think this is some media-inspired melodrama. You think my childish demeanor and innocent face says I don't have the guts. I shit you not. If someone asked me to shoot you in the head for twenty grand I will do it without hestitation! And I don't have to hate you when I do it. It will most likely be NOT personal.

Take one life, save a thousand - and earn a few thousand dollars in the process. That pretty much sounds like a very worthwhile investment.

Be afraid. Be very afraid!

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