Saturday, March 15, 2008

A slow night at the airport. There's just a few hundred provincial folks hustling about in the terminal trying, just as I am at the moment, to get an early flight before the Holy Week.

It had been just a few hours ago that I was lining up at the Cebu Pacific ticket office trying adjust my flight schedule so I can leave today. Since I didn't receive my last paycheck from my recently estranged company I had my reservations about the expenses of gong home. Then again, if I had to compute another week of staying here, the expenses would be just as much. I had to pay for a penalty fee and a fare difference. I had to beg the booking agent to "lay it to me slowly" on the fees. The ironic thing now is that the total expenses of trying to get back home in an earlier fashion would now mean I just spent for the tickets at the expense of regular rates - not the usual discounted fares. I still have not slept.

This leaves me with the topic I have for this entry - a specific dream that I have been dying to have. It seems kind of odd that I do not recall having dreamt of being outside this planet. I've seen sci-fi movies take us to realms beyond imagination but none so closely inspired by the very earth that we live on.

I have more than once dreamt of flight - both artificial and superhuman. To stretch my mind beyond what my dreams can render, I have tried with no success to leave this planet. I find this quite strange that my mind cannot seem to fathom what lies beyond this Earth. Sure, I can imagine spaceships and extraterrestrials but none so willfully embodied in a dream. Unless, uninterestingly, they were to set foot on this Earth.

What happens when I attempt to go beyond the boundaries of my known reality? Either I find myself losing my power of flight or I find myself on what I initially thought to be another planet to be home after all. All of these are akin to the things I see in the video games I see where virtual worlds are created. However, artificial worlds, just like my dreams, have boundaries. You can't fly beyond the "defined" skies nor can you go beyond the boundaries of the "defined" lands. Hell, even, artificial space has an invisible wall.

Why all the fuss, you might ask. Perhaps I have revisited this thought after finally realizing my helplessness on this world. That no matter how much you dream; how much you try and how much fight, what is the point of it all? To be better than everyone else? I don't want to compete! It seems that I am trapped in this life that some unknown entity has defined my reality - a reality with monolithic walls!

Just once I would like to dream beyond this world.

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