Monday, April 28, 2008

Gay Fans and Online Chatting

I'm going to go out on a limb here. I believe it is quite obvious to everyone right now that I am NOT a good person. I am NOT friendly and my infamy for being "suplado" (a snob) holds truth to the last shred. I don't blog to make friends. I don't blog to have followers. I blog because the world is a sad, miserable place filled with people (and all the sexes in between) that I wouldn't give a second thought to obliterate off the face of the Earth.

I probably shouldn't ask this stupid and obvious question so it's better that this be a rhetoric one. Why is that when women write their blogs expressing their admiration for love, life and relationship it just gets you right there? (Guys, not that one. Yours are not that big, losers! Move two feet up and don't flatter yourself.) However, once you find out that the author turns out to be another man your jaw starts to drop and you suddenly get this eerie feeling that the author can see you and is carefully pulling down your pants. I shit you not when I tell it would make The Ring look like a love story. More than once I come across blogs that profess love and admiration for a man in a poetic symphony of words - written by a man for another man! I say this again with utmost urgency that IGNORANCE IS BLISS.

Now, don't get me wrong here. I have nothing against gays and I support whatever rights they demand from our society. I am also against discrimination towards them. I do have gay friends that I trust to a certain extent and I do not bring out the gay humor at their expense. Anyway, this experience was freaky to say the least.

An unknown male tried to chat with me - again (this wasn't his first attempt) - on my Yahoo ID praising me for my "work". For some reason he seemed interested in my distaste for my past company. I simply declined the courtesy by saying that I don't entertain gays. "Dude, I'm a guy, don't be such a homophobe", the ID said. But, of coooooourse....

Points here that I know a person on the Net is gay:
1.) A guy showing off his six-pack on his avatar for the whole world to see and coupled with a touched up face and plucked eyebrows hardly convinces anyone. There are rules to this and I'm not telling! Even a male model wouldn't be so "cheaply" vain. Any guy who has been there knows that the only person you attract with this feat are - you said it right - gays! Oh, let's not forget superficial, duplicitous, gold-digging women.
2.) If he was straight as he imagined himself to be he wouldn't be asking so many intrusive questions consistent with a nosy woman or the third sex.
3.) The first thing a fag is going to do once he/she gets suspected is try to gain trust by assuring you of his "manliness" and then do something disgusting to you when you're not looking. I guess I should make this perfectly clear to gay readers that I will stab your eyes out if you look at me funny and I will squeal like a hysterical bitch if you're counting on me being to be embarrassed to tell anyone! You should have left it alone, dude!
4.) They are trained in the art of manipulation. If you think guys are good in duping hard to get women, imagine their sharpened skills at duping men. I imagine that's no easy task!
5.) Lastly, no STRAIGHT guy uses the word "HOMOPHOBE" in a sentence. Perhaps in an upscale part of the world that WOULD be used but definitely not here!

I am no psychologist here but with all these years of chatting online I have become pretty much the Sherlock Holmes of Internet chat. I can profile a person by the words they write, how they write it, how frequently they chat, how fast they chat, social class, attitude towards life and people and, hell, even their academic standing! All of these without ever meeting them. The only thing, of course, I cannot recklessly assume is the appearance of my chatmates because more than once I do come across gorgeous supermodels with the brains of a goldfish. The one thing I prioritized to learn while chatting online was weeding out fags. It's not a safe Cyberworld out there and stories I've heard about people victimized by sick Internet partners made my vigilance even more impeccable.

So let this be a message that "No, I am NOT interested!" Stop trying convince me that you are better than a pair of legs with a FUNCTIONAL hole in the middle!

Notice how I use fag and gay interchangeably. I refer to immoral homosexuals as "fags" and the rest of the crowd as "gays".

No comments:

What others are yacking...