Saturday, April 26, 2008

I am not one of us

Okay, for the record I want it to be known that I, myself, am a big hypocrite. I talk about all these crap about love for country and patriotism but what the hell am I REEAAALY talking about?

Well, I'm talking about the fact that I was born and raised in an "international" school that looked down on speaking our dialect as if it were the forbidden and heathen language of the devil himself. I know this for a fact considering that most schools here are perversely (and I mean that in a good way) religious.

By the sixth grade I could comprehend lame American politics humor more than someone throwing a complicated joke in Tagalog. It wasn't until high school that I learned to expand my vocabulary in the local dialect. I agree with my classmates who, in their crowd, thinks that not being able to speak the dialect is a geeky and lame excuse. Although I consider it a good thing that I am unable to speak Tagalog since 2/3 of the entire country speaks my dialect. However, I find it disturbing that I cannot speak my own dialect fluently.

Hell, I can speak English with much less grammatical errors and typos than it takes me to write or even speak in my own dialect or national language. I failed Pilipino twice in elementary and once in college. Talk about your utter interest in the local tongue.

I find these things somewhat embarassing because I talk about my utter distaste about the colonial mentality when, in fact, I am a standing example of that culture!

Even to this day I still listen to western music. Whenever I hear local rock or R&B sung in one of the native tongues I'd always interpret it as some sort of mockery in the art of music. As for the local movie scene? If I didn't move in to a condo with a bunch of strangers I wouldn't have watched a local channel for yet another year. The last actor I could remember fondly in my early days was Gabby Concepcion. That last band that I could remember was Side A.

Sheesh, I find myself very disappointed.

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