Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The Myth of Monogamy

To borrow from the title of David P. Barash's book I have chanced upon while watching Penn & Teller’s: Bullshit!, it has come upon my twisted way of thinking that there may be a point to this book. Earlier in life I couldn’t imagine the thought of an infidel partner or even myself committing this “sinful” act. Then I realized, after forsaking all forms of religion, that I began asking the sincerity of my personal beliefs. At the time of this writing I have not yet found or even read an excerpt from this book but the show gave me a pretty good idea of its point: That we, as a human race, are polygamous in nature - even my dad claims this and he didn't read the book! Let us forget about all that religious bullshit about us being “human beings” and that we are “capable of reason” because it is just another form of denial about our association with the animal kingdom.

I really can’t say this is surprising since it has been, in man’s history, a form of arrogance that if we are financially or mentally superior than everyone and everything else we tend to separate ourselves from the “inferior”. Animals aside, we even boldy go as far as separating ourselves from the rich and the poor or the intellectuals from the artists. A human being is a human being just as an animal is an animal and we are still animals. I hate to break it to the priests, pastors or monks out there but monogamy is a "human-defined" practice and not a natural act.

Are we driven by reason or instinct? In every crime and every heroic act we have ever done, can we honestly say it was our sense of reason that guided our way? In love and in anger can we, by even a hint of hypocrisy, say that it was our mind dictating our actions? I have yet to receive a quote where our sense of stupidity for our emotions was not the reason for our very downfall. I wouldn’t say such things! I have realized this not long ago. Sure, we can be reasonable, but that is before or after the act is done. Those are the only two chances we have to act “reasonably”. Are we in control? Only on these two occasions.

This brings me to the title in this blog: The Myth of Monogamy.

I have realized this year that I cannot be a judge of even my own actions. I have, on occasion, “simulated” various scenarios in my life. Like what would I have done if I didn’t have any money and I would be out on the streets? What if someone threatened my life? What if someone threatened my family? The answer was simple and clear – even without reason: I would lie, cheat, steal and kill to survive. Would I feel guilty about it? Maybe later but in the moment all reason would have been out the door.

On some occasion in my past relationships I have questioned my own loyalty and I have even shunned friends who even entertained the thought of infidelity. But who am I to say that I am “loyal” if it is some other carnal instinct that dictates my actions? Yes, I have felt these urges. I have suppressed them in the past but as I become more resilient in some aspects of my thoughts and emotions there are those that I have begun to welcome. I too have experienced a sense of things lacking in a relationship and I’d imagine that there are things I have failed on my behalf. Yes, I can be selfish too!

I’m not telling anyone to shun or despise these “immoral” acts because I have already stated a long time ago that immorality is a paradigm and not an objective fact. I’m pointing out to everyone that this is the way it is no matter how much we try to quantify the contrary. We are animals with the basic instinct to copulate. This has been a proven and objective observation (Google is your friend so don’t ask me to be). Do not deny the inevitable

If this is inevitable what can we do then? For my part, all I can do is accept it. This is the reality of it all. The sooner we all accept this the better this aspect of your life will be. You will cheat and you will be cheated. I have put that in my personal paradigm and this has changed the way I look at relationships and everyone else. I do not despise or judge anyone with infidelity in their thoughts. Instead I sympathize. It also does not make me look at relationships any less. In fact, I have factored this in as a calculated risk. I just hope my partner has a drop of her humanity left to play it safe when she, by some act of intoxication or plain stupidity, let her instinct do the thinking.

No matter how honest or loyal we claim to be, there will be that perfect condition that will trigger a change in our actions and all the humanity that we so arrogantly claim to have will cease to exist.

“There is no reason. There is only cause and effect.” – Merovingian, The Matrix Reloaded

1 comment:

CH4:D said...

This is indeed an unpopular idea. This was expected. After fending off the first wave of random mentally retarded readers and a self-proclaimed incompetent psychologist, this controversy has become evident. The brainless individual went on to desperately claim that it has "no humor, no wit, and no originality" - a statement that directly mirrors itself. The poor boy. He probably doesn't know how to read or something that he lacks all those things he mentioned apart from his minijack he calls a penis.

God, I wish it were this easy: "From this day on I am a psychologist. I have 2 majors that nobody cares about." LOL

I can't blame him. Anyone as sexy as me will turn any man gay. ;)

Sigh, the things people will do to bash my blog, which, in itself is a work of great brilliance. A carefully designed runaway truck. An instrument of wanton destruction.

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