Thursday, April 02, 2009

Divine Attraction

It was supposed to be a face of an occasional visitor. This was different. A face from a distant past. The years that passed were unkind to her and the marks of age showed. He saw nothing of it. To him she was as young and radiant as the first time he saw her many years ago. She was frozen in time - forever immortal.

He pursued her this time. A chance he never had before but it soon became clear that it was too late. It was strange, really. The whole time all he ever wanted was for her to let him into her world. Sadly, as all tragic love stories go, this was not the case. She was too distant.

When he first met her she was a goddess. A distant star that seemed always out of reach. A wild horse that could never be tamed. From then on, she existed only in his dreams. It became clear now that this will be as near as he'll ever get to her. He was an unworthy subject far down the world beyond her realm. He didn't deserve her. Their distant worlds made it impossible for their eyes to see their ways. Their paths were never meant to cross - in a perfect world or otherwise. She could never love him. She never loved him. That was the devastating truth. For why would the divine love a man? He was nothing.

Now, whoever she was... Whoever that soul he knew from the past... was long dead. She died somewhere in the world that collapsed on her and whatever or whoever this person is who stood in front of him was nothing more than a tangled mess of emotions corrupted by regret and resentment. He was just too late. Now he will forever bear and pay the price for that punishment. Gods have too much pride to admit their flaws if it even existed. But it was her pride that was her own undoing.

With that realization, the future is now uncertain for him. She may have taken a small moment of his life but she has taken a large chunk of his heart with her. This empty void was now useless to him. Yes, she was different. Different because he held on to those memories of her all these years - wondering and waiting. This was the woman who was the enigma of his past that unraveled him from his childish ways. Now that she passed him by with his heart in tow his next steps felt meaningless. It was a void too wide to fill even for a mere mortal woman. For the first time in his life he feared his future - the fate of his emotions. It may be too soon to say now but from how he sees it, no one would suffice. He knows that it doesn't matter who is going to be in his arms. They would feel like sand through his fingers. When he will be beside them he would find himself looking distantly - absently - for her wishing that somewhere he was with her. The only treasure worth having. The only adventure worth experiencing. Good or bad he would stupidly and naively squander his life away for her.

He would feel empty - incomplete without her. Once you've tasted perfection; once you've seen perfection; once you've felt perfection, you run out of sensible comparisons.

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