Monday, April 27, 2009

The Love That Wasn't

Last year was a very... "trying" kind of year. (For lack of a better word)

You see, I've been single for a reasonable period now. It's not that it bothers me anymore but there was this brief instance last year that I was really up for it. I was really going to go loco once again. HOWEVER, (and you thought this was going to be a happy ending, ey?) something else happened that made that desire an epehemeral fantasy. (Don't ask!) A blatant act of compulsive stupidity! For the life of me that experience pushed that thought so far up my ass that I'm not sure if I'm gonna puke it out just to get that urge again or wait til the thought of it comes out as a SHITTY idea.

Oh well, that was me: A hungry dog chasing and jumping after every morsel of meat being waved at me except that my tormentor had no intention of letting me have it. She was gonna wait til I starved to death and then laugh hysterically at how wretched an animal I was. Consequently, the dog died just as she wanted. She's laughing now.

It doesn't surprise me that the good Lord has forbidden me from accumulating wealth as I am quite "accident prone" when it comes to women. My current savings pervents me from chasing them around the world for whatever bout of insanity that has come over me. It prevents me from showering them with any type of item that glitters and costs somewhere around the a year's salary and the price of my soul. What for? She's gonna make a run for it anyway! With that being said, I'm glad for whatever trace of sanity I hav left, it has left me to reason that I have not relinquished my entire savings to her and eventually starve to death naked.

Currently, my trauma - both personal and external - has left me disgusted at the thought of it. I am on a dry spell right now. Browsing Facebook or Friendster only frustrates me and my sex drive is next to nil. This "sexual depression" has somewhat gotten hold of me. Oh, well, at least I know I wouldn't be doing anything crazy for the months to come. O_o (not to mention on last Sunday's Car Show I was able to take pictures of female models unperturbed)

I cannot justify or quantify the reasons for a relationship when everyone else around me either advises me against it or shuns me away from it. Besides, I'm in that stage again that I am in complete utter bitterness at seeing anything resembling the opposite sex or relationships with them as a whole.

No comments:

What others are yacking...