Sunday, April 12, 2009

Myths About Me

I know that I am a very sardonic, sarcastic and bitter person. But in spite of my disturbing behavior that borders just around a personality disorder and can only be described as maniacal and troubled I cannot help but notice that this has brought me in a mixed light. So here are the common things people see in me:

* I am a good friend because I am always there when they need me. Actually, I'm always here because I have a minimalistic social life and I'm usually bored. I've got nothing better to do but harass mentally retarded clairvoyants who claim they can guess the size of Jesus' genitals by watching kiddie porn.

* I'm a gentleman because nothing happened when we slept together. Quite frankly, I'm simply just NOT interested.

* I'm tactless. Truth be told, only tactless people notice that. It has been my observation that people who like to take potshots usually have no internal sense of humor. In other words, people who like to make fun of others usually can't take it if they are the victims of their own devices. If you don't have a sense of humor about things being thrown at you then you better grow up! Stop whining about being harassed if you take pleasure in doing it yourself!

* I'm gay. It is no surprise to all of us that most women are SORE LOSERS. For this reason, it is rare that I see women participate in team sports or sports that require an opponent as most cannot accept defeat. With that in mind, just because I won't back down from an argument doesn't quantify the logic that I'm a fag. Be a good sport, ladies. You can't win 'em all. Don't run to your defense mechanism.

* I'm always smiling. I only smile in front of everyone. I have an image to uphold. I can't afford to show weakness as my friends look to me for strength and hope. ;)

* Nothing gets me down. Ok so this is the only thing true about me. Sure I get knocked down from time to time but I always get up. 

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