Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Types of ILOVEYOUs

What are the types of "I LOVE YOUs"? Well, in my lifetime I have heard different tones from different mouths. Believe me, just because a person says they love you or that they show you that they do it is a far cry from the meaning if they are not said from the heart with utmost sincerity.


The rarely heard and difficult to say version. This is the version from people who are afraid to commit. I know some people don't say it a lot but there's a difference here. These people respond to your "I love you" while the ones I'm talking about have a hard time saying it. I hate to be the bearer of reality (yet again) but the reason why they can't express their love vocally is because it bothers them to say it. They usually compensate the lapse by hiding it in "affectionate" acts and defensively say "do my actions speak for themselves?". No, they don't and, mind you, this can easily be faked or interpreted differently in the guise of other intentions. This is their defense mechanism. They believe that avoiding the vocal expression absolves them of the guilt but lying is lying no matter how much you hide it. Remember, saying you love someone and acting them out must go in tandem. Any person who is incapable of doing both is troubled - deeply.

This is the I love you made in the sweetest tone. It literally warms the blood and increases the hormones (and all the stirring in the pants). Be wary of partners who use these tones. Some of them are fond of saying it but can reverse it in an instant. Trust me, I've known partners who are soooooo good in these words that I could have sworn they would have taken a bullet for me. On the other hand, if I screw up in the slightest they don't hesitate to take it all away in a blink of an eye. These are very poisonous. These people have your feelings as their hostages. These types of people are manipulative, mean, cons and fakes. Let's not forget that these people will be the first to jump ship at the first sign of trouble with you or in the relationship. This is the other half of I LOVE YOU #1. All talk and no walk. These are the quitters in your life. Start running - fast!

The Unconditional I Love You. For some of you who were lucky enough to hear this, it is the unflinching version of the phrase. It doesn't change. It doesn't fade. It doesn't disappear. Come hell or high water your partner will stick to you and their perception of you will never change. However, nobody's perfect. Some people in this category fall in abusive, neediness and stalker status. If you're the the type who can go into that type of thing there's a difference between just the right one and too much. Remember, too much love can kill you.

In this day and age we have to invest our time and, most of all, our trust in the right people to be our partners in life. This applies to all types of relationships! To survive in this world you need to go with fighters and not quitters. The road to foolproof relationships is not set in stone. Everyone falls while only a few survive. The rest have to pick up the pieces and decide whether the trip is still worth it or just quit and cut your losses. Ditto.

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