Thursday, June 25, 2009

Mistakes, Failures and Humility

While self-confidence is an admirable quality, there is quite a decent and honorable value in projecting humility in the times of our downfall. In fact, while most of us think of ourselves as gods or, in fact, create one, it is our flaws that give us a huge slap of realization about our humanity.

Everyone makes mistakes. That's a given. Admitting one's mistake is another story because more than once in my experience with people this is surprisingly a daunting task for some individuals.

Ideally in a relationship, be it successful or failed - most especially failed, should be an opportunity to learn - to grow. It is a chance for us to reflect on the things that went right, what went wrong and what is worth appreciating be it good OR bad. Consequentially, the brilliant human beings that we are, we should also formulate what needs to be done for the future.

Sounds pretty simple, right? Mmmm.... I wouldn't exactly say THAT simple. You see, some people have a problem with this and this is where my little unofficial psychology experiment goes: A person who has trouble admitting they did something wrong in their past relationship is unwittingly fated to do it again! You didn't learn anything. You're too stubborn to change so prepare for a world and a lifetime of frustration. Of course, basic human behavior is if you learned what you did wrong you won't do it again. You know, like having sex in a public place and not getting caught or learning that posting nude photos of yourself actually attracts members of the SAME sex.

It surprises me that the world is teeming with people who suffer from attitude problems in this aspect. Every so often I come across people who claim that they did no wrong in their past relationship and that it was their partner's fault. Sure, sure... everyone screws up. That doesn't make you infallible. I stay away from people like these. You can't talk to them you and you can't tell them anything. It's like talking to a raging river - loud and unstoppable but destined to going down and ending in nothingness.

Red lights on three things:
1) Blaming your partner for a failed relationship doesn't speak well of you - even if it's true.
2) Complete inability to admit one's mistakes shows that there is something wrong... WITH YOU.
3) Admitting your mistakes with an excuse that you "loved too much" or that you "trusted them too much" is not a valid concession of your mistakes. It basically translates as "it was my fault that it was their fault". The only person who believes you is you.

I usually see through a person's sincerity if they admit they made emotional lapses (without the usual excuse above) on their part. For me, a person who openly admits their mistakes in a relationship while at the same time answering the "what have we learned" part of that admission is the most sincere of all. Humility is the key to gaining respect. Gaining respect is where you earn your self-confidence and not a moment sooner. You fell you got up by realizing it was you alone who tripped.

That's all there is to it. Just like an insane person admitting their insanity and a drug addict admitting their addiction, the path to recovery starts with you. Don't look for scapegoats in your failed relationships. They don't exist but at least you can start by looking at the mirror!

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Video scandals degrade us all

My friend Jas shared this link with me a few hours ago. I was originally thinking about writing my own blog about the whole sex video scandal thing but, what can I say, there's nothing in that blog that she hasn't pulled out of me.

She's right, actually. So right that I've only seen two of the videos and it was probably enough to give me a wet dream for a night but it also left me asking: "Is this it???" This what our entire nation has been reduced to - ogling leaked sex videos of our favorite celebrities as if these people are the cornerstones of our existence. Ironically, to most of us, they are!

C'mon, guys! We've seen this shit since we were in college! What else is new? Are you guys so cheap that you scrimp on seventy pesos for a decent porn video CD? Hasn't everyone heard of torrents yet?

Before y'all say that I'm being a hypocrite about the whole sex video thing, mind you I still prefer a professionally recorded porn video over this ANYTIME. There's no pleasure in watching a hastily and awkwardly recorded video about young couples who have nothing better to do with their time. The idiots and perverts are not the ones on-screen but rather the ones drying their eyes out in ignorant amazement.

Oh, and by the way, don't call them scandals. They're still sex videos! Duh!

What others are yacking...