Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Being Complete

The purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -- Neale Donald Walsch 

Acceptance. That is the true realization of it all. Not for the demise or the loss but the realization of failure. It takes a great deal of testicular fortitude to accept ones flaws and it wouldn't make you a lesser person. As long as we live we are allowed an unlimited amount of chances.

I should be wallowing in self pity right now and contemplating a premature end. Sadly yet luckily for me that is not the case. I'm a thirty SOMEWHAT something and I've pretty much felt and seen half of it all so you will forgive me for my inherent indifference. You come to a point in your life when the punches feel a lot more like a Swedish massage and less like Pacquiao's uppercut. You get used to it.

I hope some young (read: naive) heart will read this and understand that this is not because we are insensitive or bitter but because we came from YOUR phase in life and rose above it. We survived and learned to accept the disappointments and move on. Although it doesn't get better it does get easier. Accept that and I assure you you won't be heartless. Bitterness is voluntary. You may not fathom this today but you will someday.

Recently, I spent some of my time gambling on the 'what ifs' and not regretting the 'if onlys'. Admittedly, I do occasionally regret them both but, of course, a life without regrets is a life not lived. Anyone who says otherwise is fuckin' hypocrite.

Friends often wonder how can I be so indifferent to easily move on. So I lay it out here for them to digest:
1) The people who leave actually feel no remorse no matter how much they try to glorify the situation in their favor.
2) If you don't move on chances are they will - without a hitch.
3) Their world doesn't stop because you are gone. So it's important that your world revolves around you.
4) If life chews you up and spits you out. Make yourself harder to swallow.
5) This is the most important. I am COMPLETE by myself. I enjoy being me and I'm satisfied being me and I would NEVER allow anyone to take that away from me. I'm geeky, I'm annoying, I'm a pervert and I'm obnoxious. I am me.

So why should I feel sorry for myself? I shouldn't.

There is nothing more adventurous than moving on, discovering, rediscovering and experiencing it all again in a different perspective and experience. It's like the melancholic déjà vu that perpetually haunts us all. This is my thrill. This is my reason never to fear the unknown; never to fear trying again. In contrast, my past mistake was not trying at all!

You will find your dream. If you stop now then your dream will not find you.

If there is one thing I would wish for everyone it's learning to be happy when you're free; to be happier when you're in love and to be happy when you're free again. This is the magic of being you - being complete. Satisfy yourself first without relying on others.

Life is a gamble. Take risks. Lose big. Win some. Repeat. Reuse. Recycle.

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