Sunday, January 25, 2015

2014 for IT Idiots

It's been a long long time since I've posted some ramblings here. The internet has gotten way to big for its own good and now one can't jack off to porn without the looming threat of someone zooming in with his 100 megapixel camera to post on social media and cash in on the hits and tits.

These days you'd have to keep your "assholery" in check unless you want your face splattered on Youtube about how morally devoid and politically incorrect you are for calling that McDonald's waitress a "faggot slut who needs Jesus".

You can't just post bad things on the internet these days unless you want the attention and the extra online whoring cash you get from the hits. But you know what? That will not stop me. Legally, I can shoot stuff in the air and NOBODY can sue me because they THINK I'm the person they're talking about.

I am now trapped in the selfie revolution. A world of women with low self-esteem and sexless geeks who've become so desperate for attention that they are one pixel short of blowing their cunt online. Seriously, since when have we fallen so far down the self-image bottle that we need the appreciation of strangers and superficial friends to measure our self worth?

Social media (pre-2014 annoying word for me) has gotten so superficial that seeing online celebrities, bloggers, whore Facebook profiles and what not pushes me on the brink of believing that we, as a human race, are literally no longer fit to inhabit this universe.

So as a skip from the rant above I would like to post this utterly unrelated list of "buzzwords" that I have heard colleagues and ugly people in IT have repeatedly said:
1) cross-platform - like as if websites don't do that for you? It did that for you when the Internet started. yes, back in the 80s!
2) multi-platform - if cross-platform didn't work for you, use this to sound smarter.
3) Tech EVANGELIST - Seriously? A religion for nerds? A tech evangelist is someone who preaches speculations and baseless ideas fueled by ignorance and insecurity. In short, like a religion. This person is someone who was too incompetent to work as an IT professional so instead just blows smoke up someone's ass.
4) cloud computing - another fancy word for using the fucking internet to store your porn.
5) Internet of Things - the combined cacophony of the moronic redundant things above. It's what we used to call the internet by its full name. These days we now just call it the FUCKING INTERNET.

We have grown so shallow and annoying that all I can ever say when I see the news about people getting killed is "that is not enough".

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